Promises
by ArwenJaneLilyLyra
Summary: After Draco is pushed to the brink, Narcissa confronts Lucius, reminding him of the promises he once made, and how he has broken them all.


Promises

**There may be some slight canon errors here. I think this is set some time about HBP, but I guess it could be placed somewhere else if you wanted it to be.**

The boy stood before his father, staring up at his face with cold hatred, barring the self-loathing from reaching his features. Slowly, he shook his head. Before he had time to react, the older man's hand had whipped across and struck his cheek so powerfully that he staggered, his own hand rising to touch the welt that was bruising instantly. Tears of betrayal formed in his eyes and with one last look of disappointment, the young man stormed out of the room, out of the house…out of his father's life.

Lucius gritted his teeth as he heard the door snap behind Draco and shook his head, in a similar fashion to how his son had done moments before. There was a movement and his gaze turned to his wife, his beautiful Narcissa who was sat by the desk, her hands clasped in her lap. Tears were collecting in her eyes that were large, like violets flowering in her perfect face. Her golden hair, darker than his own, swirled around her cheeks, causing her to look more like an angel than a human. He took a step forwards and she stood, retreating a step. Her breathing was heavy and her chest rose and fell with her panting.

The man made to speak, but she silenced him with her own words.

"Do you remember when we first met?"

It was such an unexpected question that Lucius froze, answering as if it were a reflex; "Of course." But it appeared Narcissa Malfoy wasn't asking for an answer.

"You were a second year, and I was only a first year. You seemed so wise to me, the way you directed me to the Transfiguration classroom. I think I might have fallen in love with you then and there, because you were the first person other than my own family members to be nice to me. You seemed so perfect…" Narcissa's voice drifted into nothingness, her large eyes sad with regret.

"You know…for a while you _were_ perfect – always there when I needed you. You never patronised me, you never got impatient, you never brushed me aside, you held me in such regard…as if I was one of your friends. You can never understand the honour I felt during that year. And then the next year it was the same."

Lucius nodded, far away memories filling his head and soothing his temper.

But Narcissa obviously wasn't interested in happy recollections. She had a story to tell, and she was going to finish it before she allowed her husband to speak again.

"Even once I became brave enough to make my own friends rather than socialise with my sisters or you, I would always find my eyes searching for you in a room. You attracted attention, just as you attracted my admiration. I started to miss you if I went without seeing your face for too long. I would dream up reasons to approach you. Sometimes I'd pretend I needed help with a subject, just so you could tutor me. Do you remember what your favourite subject was, the one that you excelled in?"

Her eyes were pleading, and Lucius nodded, his gaze cast to the floor, as if in shame.

"Defence against the dark arts," he murmured, almost silent he was so quiet.

"Yes," Narcissa breathed, her face glowing as brightly as her tears glistened.

"It was always your dream to be noble, to be brave…to prove the wizarding world wrong. Slytherins _could_ be honourable, Slytherins _could_ be trusted…always it was proving the world's opinion of you wrong."

Again Lucius nodded. There was nothing he could say to her words.

"I remember the first time you cried in front of me. I was in my sixth year, you in your seventh. You cried and cried and I held you as you sobbed. I didn't even know what was wrong, I just stayed with you. That was the first time you kissed me. It was only softly, and far too swiftly, but still, it was a kiss nonetheless. Before I could ask why, you said you were sorry, and disappeared from the room. For a while I thought it was all over."

Lucius took a step forwards, extending a hand to hold his trembling wife, and Narcissa didn't move away this time. She allowed him to wrap his arms around her, holding her closer than he had done in a long time.

"Then I found you again, crying once more. And for a second time I held you as you cried. This time I asked what you were crying about, and you tried to avoid answering, but in the end I persuaded you."

"I could never lie to you," Lucius murmured fondly, his lips pressed into his wife's sunshine gold hair.

"You told me it wasn't fair. You told me you wanted to escape. You asked me to run away with you. I said I would, but when I asked where we would go, your tears began to fall all over and again and you held me close and shivered. You told me you couldn't run away. I asked why. You said because he would kill you."

Narcissa leaned back slightly to gaze into her husband's cold eyes.

"Do you remember being scared of the Dark Lord, scared of your father? Do you recall the feeling of terror every time you contemplated disappointing your father? Is it so easy to forget how you feared the very thought of being punished by him. I do. I remember it all. _I_ remember you cursing your father's very existence, swearing he had no right to dictate your life for you, making all your choices for you, and the wrong ones at that."

Lucius tried to blink away the tears but it was too hard. A salty droplet trickled onto his perpetually pale face, but when he made to remove it Narcissa stopped him, keeping a tight hold of him.

"And this time I kissed you. I kissed you because that was the moment it all became real. You weren't like all the other ambitious Slytherins. Your ambitions were different. You stood out in a way that made you shine. And I loved you for it."

Lucius looked close to proud, but Narcissa wasn't finished. But Lucius didn't want to hear the end, because already he knew what to expect. And it wasn't a fairy tale.

"Then you told me what was being expected of you. You were just a scared young man, not strong enough to break away from the cult you had been sucked into, but not so weak as to believe in it. You promised me it would be different soon. Soon you would be free and we could be happy forever and ever. My perfect life with my perfect man."

There was bitterness in Narcissa's voice: cynical and hoarse with regret.

"And so it was we got married not a year after my leaving school. My parents approved, your parents approved. And of course, the Dark Lord approved. The union of the Malfoys and Blacks, what could be a better match? I didn't care. I'd have married you no matter what. I loved you and only you and we were finally together. I had all these plans of a happy little family. I would be the mother that stayed with her children, loving them and caring for them. You would be the father that came home every evening with a smile and a treat for his children. I had it all planned in my head."

Wistful longing, such a yearning…Narcissa's eyes were glazed and Lucius watched her beauty grow with every second. Age had been kind to his wife, not that it mattered. To him she hadn't changed since the day they were wedded.

"And you always promised me I could have everything I wanted. Do you remember making that promise? Or was it all just empty words?"

Accusations now, Lucius nearly cowered under her glare.

"Because slowly it all changed, and not in the way you told me it would. You would come home late, covered in blood and silent. It wasn't making love anymore; it was trying to produce an heir. It wasn't a child you wanted, it was something to present to the Dark Lord – proof of your worth. And when Draco was born you came to your senses. Maybe it was holding your baby boy for the first time, but suddenly I was looking into the eyes of a frightened teenage boy again, and you were once more the man I fell in love with. And again you promised me all these things that in my heart of hearts I knew you could not offer. Change. Love. A better life."

Lucius gripped Narcissa tightly, as if afraid she would disappear. But she didn't try to break away from him. She remained nestled in his chest, her arms around his waist. But there may as well have been a mighty abyss between them for all the connection that there had once been.

"So many promises that you've broken, Lucius. And now you are becoming the man you hated most. You are your own father, Lucius. Remember the possessive terrifying man who could cause you such pain just by mere words? You wonder why Draco no longer looks you in the eye; why he hates you the way he does. Because he does, Lucius. He hates us. We've stripped him of everything that you were stripped of as a child, a _child_! _Our_ child!"

Her voice was raised, and it was alien to Lucius' ears. Narcissa never shouted. Why was she so angry now?

"Can't you see what you've done…what you're doing? And now you've pushed him too far. You broke your promise, my love. Nothing has changed. Nothing is different. Why do you make these promises that you simply cannot keep?"

Lucius felt his chest tremor and he realised he was crying. He removed his hands from around his wife to wipe away the tears and stop his sobs. Narcissa looked disappointed as she stepped away, shaking her head.

"The Lucius I once knew would not have wiped away these tears. He would accepted them. I don't know this Lucius. I don't know this man. I fell in love with someone else. Someone who could love without fear of the consequences. What happened to him?"

"I don't know," Lucius replied.

Narcissa nodded.

"Well at least that was an honest answer."

And with that she turned and left the room, not looking back at the man who watched her leave – too weak to try and stop her, and too scared to believe her words were true.


End file.
